awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize