We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
