my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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