There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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