I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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