you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
