Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
