On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize