Are we in a gay sports bar?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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