I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
