the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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