Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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