I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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