you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
