I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
