I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
