I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
What a dumb baby whore.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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