party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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