Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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