i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
