C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Boobs speak an international language.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
