I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
