Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
