I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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