today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
