You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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