The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
