Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
