If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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