you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
