i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
