Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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