they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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