I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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