We're facebook friends in real life
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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