This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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