I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
