My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
