You just made me feel so damn special
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize