I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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