You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
