No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish i was in the wii world.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
