Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
