That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
