I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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