It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize