not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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