is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You took a bar mat shot.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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