Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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