Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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