He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
