oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
