Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
