why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
did i just pee glitter
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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