maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
