the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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