We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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