Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Someone signed my nipple.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
