are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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