don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
How does one acquire holy water?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
